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It has taken me a long time to blog again. I had many excuses. My goodness, it is almost like a Country Western song. I was working full time in a military contract while tending my dog, sick and needing attention. I attempted to contribute to a book chapter (not well, mind you, because of the military contract). I was volunteering in what gives my life meaning – environmental justice. And, to top it off, I started to review narratives for continued research in workplace bullying. I barely had time to go through emails, make plane connections, attend conferences, and I was committed to hold up social media for an organization as a volunteer. I was dancing as fast as I could and I was failing me. I became involved with superfluous stuff.

I was laid off September 30, 2016 so why did it still take me this long? I became lost along the way. It wasn’t pretty. I had much soul searching. Politics were a focus and I was lost in the conflicts within our political system. And then, on Monday, March 13th, my dog Luna, was put to sleep. I held her, petted her, and spoke to her on how wonderful a dog she had been her few nine years with me. Luna had been my lifesaver when there was no perceived support system through everything I had been through. I was a mess emotionally from her death but I am better. I still cried when scheduling appointments for my other dog, Rosie while explaining Luna’s death. They always did things together.

Last week, someone wrote on Facebook “Who do you need to be to get what you want?” I thought about that carefully but these words tumbled from my keyboard effortlessly: “I believe we evolve (or grow) into that which holds meaning to us.” Human beings are in a constant state of being, of growing.” Essentially, it is not that we have to have what we want but what we need. I need passion in my life again. I needed to set my “self” on fire again and clear out the debris and stumbling rocks.

The Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary defines this saying as “to set on fire, to communicate with fire, to inflame, to ignite the passions, to irritate.” Protestors literally set themselves on fire to protest injustices. For terrorists, they explode themselves, vehicles, or aircraft, to kill others. These examples are poor self-expression to win others over to their plight or injustice. To a certain extent, I have been imploding myself by not focusing on what holds “meaning” in my life.

To me, “setting my ‘self’ on fire” is using the fire in me to ignite the interests and fire in others. I have many interests but few passions. When something, an injustice, or a way of seeing things, ignites the passion within, the soul is set on fire to share and ignite that fire in others. For those of opposing views, that passion irritates in a big way. And this, my friends, is where I will need to focus – on the passions to the exclusion of other interests and that morbid fascination with politics.

I am narrowing down my focus to that which will give meaning to what is left of my life. I hope you enjoy your life’s journey, too. After all, it is about Thriving, not surviving.

Your resume’ came across my desk this week. I am so grateful for the young men and women striving to make a difference in this world by becoming a registered nurse. Keep in mind, becoming a registered nurse is challenging as well as meaningful. Sadly, I don’t have a position for you.

However, it would be wrong not to give you some advice. Work in a hospital (a Children’s Hospital) or nursing facility for disabled children as an aide. About 65% of all graduating nurses go into these jobs. You will have the hands on experience that will only intensify your ability to learn while at college and build your resume’. Reach out to the Pediatric Nurses’ Association or the American Nurses’ Association for scholarship opportunities and, when you start school, get involved with the Student Nurse Association.

Our field is changing with the policies and politics of this country and the world. Do not ignore them. There will be an increasing need for registered nurses to care for children and an aging population affected by climate change. Get politically active through the League of Women Voters (LWV) and become an American Red Cross (ARC) volunteer. The LWV will hone your skills on policy, advocacy, and prepare you to vote with your mind, not the political garbage of commercials. You will get to know your candidates. The ARC will prepare you to act on the local and global disasters of climate change – Zika virus and other illnesses, coastal flooding, and more powerful weather systems in the Midwest and South. You will see more patients with upper respiratory difficulties with asthma or end stage lung disease because of carbon and methane releases have become a determinant in the health of the world.

And, my last caveat: Take care of yourself first. More nurses have injuries to their back, shoulders, elbows, knees – if you catch my drift. Take care of yourself first so you will be able to care for others. As nurse educators, we need to teach that first, because we were never taught it and have the injuries to prove it.

Yours,
Peggy Ann Berry, PhD, MSN, RN, COHN-S, SPHR-SCP, PNLC
Thrive_At_Life: Working Solutions

Website and blog: https://thrive-at-life.com/
Twitter: @PBerryRN
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/peggy-ann-berry-phd-msn-rn-cohn-s-sphr-9049898
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ThriveatLife615421

On this Easter Day, I am actually going to write about evil, resisting evil. I have been reading The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil by Dr. Philip Zimbardo. I will not digress into the Stanford Prison Experiment. If you don’t know what happened, Google it. Similarly, Abu Ghrab’s abuses stem from the same issues when humans adopt the assumed roles associated with positions of “power over” others. I did not buy the book to revisit these abuses and torture. I was more interested in what Dr. Zimbardo had to say about resisting evil.

I think we, the great American society, spin the wheels trying to assign blame, to “hold up a person as a sinner, culpable, afflicted, insane, or irrational” (Zimbardo, 2007, pg. viii), rather than look at the root causes of system failure. It is so much easier to blame the leader, the individual, the genetic issues, health behaviors, or etc. I think this is why I find myself reading a book about the roles allegedly assume to dictate how we may or may not behave towards others based only on assumptions and that innate evil is born from the situational forces in group dynamics.

How do I convey the urgency I have with the “politics as usual” or assigning blame for the lead poisoning of Flint, Sebring, and other American cities when we truly have a system failure of a grand scale when human health is the sacrifice made by America for capitalism? As I delve more into “why,” the more I see these incidents of cancer, starvation, illnesses, chemical and heavy metal poisoning as dehumanization on a grand scale. We no longer see that we are all culpable when we do nothing to stop it or point fingers at others. But, what happens when awareness to the devastating effects of capitalism on our physical environment is realized? Besides lead poisoning in the water, there is accelerated climate change (Hansen et al., 2016) with the continued use of burning fossil fuels.

Dr. Zimbardo (2007) recognizes, as we all do, that humans are most happy when fully engaged in open, trusting connections to others. He recommends a ten-step program to resist unwanted influences and encourage positive social models of positive action. First, admit a mistake has been made, cut bait when headed in the wrong direction. Admit you are wrong. Secondly, be mindful, get out of automatic pilot, and really start to listen, read, and leave your old scripts behind that have worked in the past. Third, take responsibility; recognize that following orders is not a “reason” for bad behavior, asserting your own unique identity (fourth step) in the situation. In the fifth step, render to Caesar what is Caesar’s, as Jesus said. “Respect authority but rebel against unjust authority” (Zimbardo, 2007, pg. 454). Some states are actually banning community action against fracking. Acknowledge the power of group acceptance but also your own independence (sixth step). Be diligent assessing how others are framing a situation (seventh step). Remember how death committees were used to spread terror about healthcare reform? Be balanced on timing (eighth step). Do not look at the past but future liabilities associated with not acting in the present. Do not sacrifice personal or civic freedoms for the illusion of security (ninth step). Politically, do not be tempted to give up “small freedoms” for greater security. Lastly, oppose unjust systems. Right now, state governments take away community rights to ban fracking and sell water rights. California still fracks in spite of drought. I can’t tell you how devastated I was when a mother with a child with leukemia testified on the Methane levels in her house that exceeded permissible exposure levels (PELs) and fracking occurs next to schools. I left the hearing in tears after I testified as an occupational health nurse because I knew those levels exceeded PEL to health harming levels.

Learning to resist unwanted influences can be applied to many situations, whether environmental or a toxic work environment where bullying and mobbing occurs. It is the fight for safe staffing levels for nurses as they gather in Washington DC in May. Sometimes, we have to be diligent to those issues that surround us. And, these are system failures from capitalism over humans.

Hansen, J., et al. (2016). Ice melt, sea level rise and superstorms: Evidence from paleoclimate data, climate modeling, and modern observations that 2 degree C global warming could be dangerous. Atmos. Chem. Phys. Discussion, 16, 3761-3812. doi: 10.5194/acp-16-37 61-2016

Zimbardo, P. (2007). The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How good People Turn Evil. Random House Trade Paperbacks: NY, NY

Peggy Ann Berry, PhD, MSN, RN, COHN-S, SPHR-SCP received her doctorate from University of Cincinnati in 2015. She is a past NIOSH Education and Resource Grant recipient and American Nurses Foundation Scholar. She is a Founding Fellow with the U. S. Academy of Workplace Bullying, Mobbing, and Abuse and a past Graduate Nurse Intern to OSHA and Malcolm Baldrige Examiner. She can be contacted or followed through:

Website and blog:  https://thrive-at-life.com/

Twitter:                   @PBerryRN

LinkedIn:                  https://www.linkedin.com/in/peggy-ann-berry-phd-msn-rn-cohn-s-sphr-9049898

Facebook:              www.facebook.com/ThriveatLife615421

I want to tell you a story about how I have come to terms with family disconnect and some crucial work I do. It is not an estrangement born out of anger or hurt I caused my children, but distance, busyness, and then my not being the ever present mother because of my work and goals. Because of that, and because I am a woman, I use three pieces of jewelry, necklaces, I wear most of the time to remember who and what is important in my life.

The first is a diamond cross. My son bought that cross for me with his Army re-sign bonus leading to his second deployment to Iraq. This cross does triple duty reminding me of the sacrifices our armed services and their families make on a daily basis serving this country. This cross reminds me that my son loved me (still loves me) even with the strained but slowly healing relationship. Lastly, it reminds me of my faith, to lean on God when there is no one else to lean on.

The second necklace is a plain silver chain with an angel on it. My daughter gave me that gift several years back and, like the cross, I wear it almost constantly. It is symbolic of mother-daughter love, again not perfect with my professional goals, and not always being there physically but we both know there is love always and that prayers can be answered, albeit not always the way we want.

The third necklace is an hourglass on a fragile silver chain. I bought this for myself as a memory piece. I used an hourglass as a conceptual framework for my PhD on nurse workplace bullying. All those bullying behaviors by the perpetrator and the lack of intervention by the organization passes through the target. Like the sands of the hourglass, if the target can not successfully deflect bullying behaviors, the consequences flood out from and to the target, our patients, and there are organizational consequences of turnover and lower productivity. This necklace also reminds me that my life is short. If a workplace or work group is toxic, it is not worth the few grains of time anyone has left in this world to deal with it unless embedded behaviors can be changed and there is resilience through education, family support, and the faith that God that enables a person to the task. And, less I forget, I can perpetuate it through my own behaviors, my own communication, and my own expectations. And not saying anything.

We all need to be the change we want to see in others. If you have the power and resources to change your response and others to bullying, stay. If you feel the anxiety and angst associated with absorbing others’ behaviors towards you, leave. Nurses are proactive problem solvers but some situations prove to toxic to stop. If you leave, let the organization know why you are leaving or transferring. Until employers are fully aware of the impact toxic behaviors create, nothing will be done to promote healthy environments.

Peggy Ann Berry, PhD, MSN, RN, COHN-S, SPHR-SCP received her doctorate from University of Cincinnati in 2015. She is a past NIOSH Education and Resource Grant recipient and American Nurses Foundation Scholar. She is a Founding Fellow with the U. S. Academy of Workplace Bullying, Mobbing, and Abuse and a past Graduate Nurse Intern to OSHA and Malcolm Baldrige Examiner. She can be contacted or followed through:

Website and blog: https://thrive-at-life.com/
Twitter: @PBerryRN
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/peggy-ann-berry-phd-msn-rn-cohn-s-sphr-9049898
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ThriveatLife615421